“Alcohol temporary fun with permanent consequences.”. ? ”. With funny drunk quotes from people like Dorothy Parker and W.C. Fields, to champagne wisdom from F. Scott Fitzgerald, to beer sayings from Plato, we’ve collected some of the best words on alcohol ever spoken. “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” —, “Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.” —, “When I drink alcohol…everyone says I’m alcoholic but when I drink Fanta…no one says I’m fantastic.” —, “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is strength but in whiskey is the water of life.” —, “If alcohol is queen, then tobacco is her consort. “I tried to think of a way to always have clean bedsheets, so I bought bed sheets that are the same … Drinkware and Barware. Alcohol Captions “Drinking before 10am makes you a pirate not an alcoholic” – Unknown “Drink triple, see double, act single” – Unknown “Watch me sip, watch me lay lay” – Unknown “Step aside coffee! 5. “When kids hit one year old, it’s like hanging out with a miniature drunk. Be inspired and try out new things.. Susan, you have to stop drinking wine. Anonymous. Bar Quotes Jokes Quotes Sarcastic … Absolutely hillarious alcohol one-liners! ... curiouswinekitten2: “devildog6336: “curiouswinekitten2: “I’m thirsty anyway ” When is your next opening ” I’m open now! Alcohol raises the risk for cancer, and so drinking wine or hard liquor should be done in moderation, if at all. You will find here top ten funny alcohol sayings selected by our team. See more ideas about Alcohol quotes, Funny, Alcohol. 31 Super Funny Christmas Quotes about Alcohol & Cheer for 2019 museuly November 15, 2019 0 Comments. “Drinking makes you happy with your body the way it is.”. If four or five guys tell you that you’re drunk, even though you know you haven’t had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while. This provides protection and a nice glossy finish. Though we all know that drinking is not good for health but it is hard not to appreciate the creativity in these quotes written in favor of drinking. After that you just take the girl’s clothes off.” —Raymond Chandler, “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” —Humphrey Bogart, “I drink too much. Funny alcohol quotes. It just sits there. Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. G. Wodehouse, “Let’s have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it.” —Unknown, “Alcohol… because no great story starts with a salad.” —Unknown, “The doctors found some blood in my alchohol stream.” —Unknown, “Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver.” —Unknown, “Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.” —Catherine Zandonella, “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.” —Unknown, “All is fair in love and beer.” —Kurt Pardis, “The only honest people in the world are small children and drunk people.” —Unknown, “Everyone needs to believe in something. I made this magnet using a Tecre punch. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn’t drive, and refused to apologize when wrong. You can see them here: https://www.etsy.com/shop/KellysMagnets?search_query=gift+wrap, Anne Taintor insprired Menu Planner & Recipe Cards, Getting drunk can lead to many good things, but many bad things as well. To me ‘Drink responsibly’ means don’t spill it. This is a job for alcohol!” – Unknown Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old alcohol quotes, alcohol sayings, and alcohol proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources. This fun magnet measures just over 3 inches (8cm). Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. It can’t even get itself out of the bottle.” —, “It’s true, alcohol kills people. It’s a fond companion for all occasions, a loyal friend through fair weather and foul.” —, “I try to convince myself that it’s the alcohol talking. Scott Fitzgerald, “Beer is now cheaper than gas, do drink, don’t drive!” —Unknown, “You look like I need another drink.” —Unknown, “Good people drink good beer.” —Hunter S. Thompson, “Lips that touch liquor touch other lips quicker.” —Unknown, “The best beer in the world, is the open bottle in your hand!” —Danny Jansen, “There are more old drunkards than old physicians.” —Bernard Shaw, “I use to think drinking was bad, so I stop thinking.” —Unknown, “I work until beer o’clock.” —Stephen King, “Act single, see double, drink triple.” —Unknown, “When I drink alcohol…everyone says I’m alcoholic but when I drink Fanta…no one says I’m fantastic.” —Unknown, “There is no bad whiskey. “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches. Wisdom Quotes. Post Cancel. See more of goodvibesandhightides’s content on VSCO. 30 Funny Christmas Quotes That Will Have You Laughing Through the Holidays Reader's Digest Editors Updated: Dec. 16, 2020 These witty words … Someone from Kilgore, Texas, US posted a whisper in the group Over 40, which reads "My tolerance for alcohol is way higher than my tolerance for people." Alcohol Sayings and Quotes. But how many are born because of it?” —, “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.” —, “Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver.” —. The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. I hate when people say that you don’t need alcohol to have fun. My tolerance for alcohol is way higher than my tolerance for people. What are we drinking? 14 Drinking Quotes to Remember if You Love Alcohol a Little Too Much It’s all fun and games until you wake up the next morning … By Katie Robinson April 17, 2018 Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. Drinkers quotes range from the simple quip, to … — Jean Kerr. We are talking about funny alcohol quotes to help keep you motivated to finish work in time to enjoy a glass or two or three. Funny Alcohol Quotes T-Shirts from Spreadshirt Unique designs Easy 30 day return policy Shop Funny Alcohol Quotes T-Shirts now! 3. BrainyQuote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. The largest collection of alcohol one-line jokes in the world. Funny Drinking QuotesDrink QuotesFunny Quotes About AlcoholBeing Silly QuotesQuotes About DrinkingDrinking CaptionsQuotes About WineFunny Thank You QuotesFunny Wine Quotes. Finding the balance with alcohol can be tricky. HAPPINESS IS WHISKEY, Funny Bar Decor,Whiskey Quote,Whiskey Bar Art,Home Bar Decor,Alcohol Quote,Drink sign,But … “Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. '” ― Samuel L. Jackson ― Joseph Schenck. Image discovered by J.B.1101. 8. Ernest Hemingway. 23 Funny, Sad and Inspiring Alcohol & Drug Addiction Quotes “I guess the worst day I have had was when I had to stand up in rehab in front of my wife and daughter and say ‘Hi, my name is Sam and I am an addict. “There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.” … Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. The next time you think about having a drink, get inspired by these inspirational quotes encouraging sobriety and health. Find images and videos about quote, life and fun on We Heart It - the app to get lost in what you love. Relax, have a drink, and enjoy the quotes! 5 out of 5 stars (470) 470 reviews $ 15.00. See TOP 10 alcohol one liners. Funny Alcohol Joke – 2 “Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. ). Scientists say they found it at … “Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.”. Cant wait for my therapy session http://@Linzey Stratton Stratton Garza http://@Racheal Huffman Huffman Rodriguez http://@Adelaida Thompson Thompson Martinez - January 14, 2015 - #WORKLAD, Thank God For The Farmer Alcohol Bar Stencil. It’s a fond companion for all occasions, a loyal friend through fair weather and foul.” —Luis Bunuel, “99% of all problems can be solved by money – and for the other 1% there’s alcohol.” —Quentin R. Bufogle, “Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.” —Kaiser Wilhelm, “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.” —Benjamin Franklin, “I have made an important discovery… that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication.” —Oscar Wilde, “Alcohol is like love: the first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. If this is a gift you may be interested in one of my gift wrap options. There’s nothing that captures those. But how many are born because of it?” —Unknown, “Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin.” —P. “Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to … Funny Quotes. In this post, you will find funny alcohol sayings. … Alcohol Quotes - BrainyQuote. Pin 441 “When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” —Henny Youngman, “I only drink on 2 occasions when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.” —Unknown, “Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.” —Kinky Friedman, “I cook with wine,Sometimes I even add it to the food.” —W.C Fields, “If you drink to forget, please pay in  advance.” —Unknown, “Alcohol doesn’t make you fat; it makes you lean… against tables, chairs and walls.” —Unknown, “Alcohol is a way of life, alcohol is my way of life, and I aim to keep it.” —Homer Simpson, “Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.” —Unknown, “It’s true, alcohol kills people. This joke on Facebook or Twitter even get itself out of me get itself out of 5 (! Scientists say they found it at … Without further ado, here are 50+ Best beer and the world around... Is. ” fortune so they can circle the world for alcoholism you going you! Funny Quotes and sayings so they can circle the world, and so drinking.. 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